The following article, “Are You Here With Me?” by Mark Brady, is a vivid reminder of the critical role that parents play in connecting their child to the world. This is not done by purchasing the best toys, apps, or computers, but by those moments of taking time to be with your children. As you read this article, imagine the moments that you can add back in to one-to-one play with your child. These are the times your child will remember as he grows older.
A beautiful quote from this article reminding us of the need to be present in our interactions with our children states, “Do I matter enough that you’ll put me first when I need you to – ahead of your job, ahead of your friends, even sometimes ahead of yourself? Can I count on you to attend to me in the ways I need you to, in ways that calm me and make me feel safe? Do I truly and deeply matter to you? These questions are being asked – nonverbally through behavior often – and when they get answered “Yes,” our children can relax and begin to feel safe, just as we are often able to do in our own intimate and business relationships when there’s high resonance.”
Our Parent Education series will help you find ways to enjoy your interactions with your child. We have an 8 week class teaching parents how to be in language interactions, and a 12 week class teaching parents how to support their child’s cooperation. The most significant points of this article remind us that what is most important is that we teach our children to play and relate with others in ways that are meaningful. Staying in relationships happens when we feel connected and supported ‘safely’ by the relationship. Take time this week dedicating your full attention to engaging your child with appropriate co-regulatory strategies, pacing and language that is matched to your child’s level and interest.